Last week, during our welcome week, we had a Solo Day… A time of fasting and spending time only with the Father–no other interactions to be made. It was there that God gave me the strength and courage to ask Him one of the questions I used to be too scared of knowing the answer to…because hearing the truth, straight from His lips, would change everything for me. I would have to start fighting again, and I was tired. I was tired of fighting the lies. I was tired of half-heartedly speaking truths over myself, because I wasn’t so sure I even believed them to begin with. Speaking them over other people? Oh yeah, I whole-heartedly believed them! But me? Not so much. So, He knew I was ready to begin fighting again, and He told me to ask Him…
“Why do I mean so much to You? What am I to You? What do I even mean to You?” #identitycrisis
His answer:
“Your worth is not based on something you can understand. You don’t have the ability to love something in the way that I love you. You can’t even fathom My love for you. I CREATED YOU BECAUSE I WANTED TO LOVE YOU. I created you with a desire to DANCE, but it is a desire that will never be fully satisfied until you dance with Me. You were made to DANCE WITH ME, to BE ENJOYED BY ME, because YOU ARE TRULY LOVED BY ME. You can’t truly comprehend how much you mean to Me, because you don’t have the ability to care so much for another person…. You mean more to Me than that sunset in El Salvador. In fact, I made that sunset just for you, so that we could be connected in that beautiful moment FOREVER. I delight in you, and long to make you smile. You mean more to me than that magnificent sky in Chile at 4:00 in the morning. I woke you up to put a smile on your face. I wanted to remind you that I know what makes you happy, but more than that…I DELIGHT in you, and I DESIRE to make you happy. I desire to be the One that you let make your heart happy. You can spend your life searching for happiness–jumping from place to place, adventure to adventure, IF YOU WANT. But, MY desire for you is to stop searching and just rest in Me, because I want to make you happy. I want to show you your worth. I want to be the One to put a smile on your face.”
When He speaks, it’s always good. SO GOOD. Out of 14+ pages of journaling and written words from Solo Day, this is something I read over and over again. I can’t help it, at this point. He just does something crazy to my heart. I’m in love with Him.
